It’s been hard.
Documenting my challenges internally
and leaving the external world out of it.
But it is hard to know just how inside my own head I am
The Intention/inspiration challenge is over.
And I know myself.
In ways that I don’t think I wanted to know myself.
But I’m glad I do.
I didn’t want to know how much of a dreamer I am
How disorganized and panicky I am
How I play possum when stress overwhelms
and how I maintain a childlike since of wonderment
inside my old soul.
But I know it now.
And I know that candles and music will forever calm me
that taking a step back isn’t my “thing” but something
I have to force myself to do and once I do
I see clearer.
That I only bite my nails, when I am biting my tongue,
that when i am angry, I write villains exceptionally well.
That when I am blocked mentally, it is because I’m not being challenged enough;
that I can run on autopilot so smoothly, even I can’t tell my cruising altitude–
That I’m no where near as smart as I think I am, but so much brighter than I ever believed.
That Neverland isn’t a place, it’s a state of being.
Cheers to all the challenges that make or break us,
and to knowing thyself.
Its as scary as it sounds.