I took a sip from my
“Tell me a joke”
Pushed a handful of bills
across the counter
“I love you”
Half Outlaw, Half Angel.
August 9, 2016 at 4:54 pm
Wow, great poem 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 9, 2016 at 5:29 pm
August 9, 2016 at 5:09 pm
I had to stop, re-read and think about this poem for a bit. While it seems to read straight out, by the time I got to the last two lines, I realized there was something deeper here. I am not sure who spoke what in the last two lines, but I like not knowing.
August 9, 2016 at 5:18 pm
Thanks for reading! I re-wrote and organized it several times to mitigate the obviousness of the situation. I really want it to be ambiguous who is saying what. but the end result is the same either way as the title indicates! Thanks for your feedback too!
August 9, 2016 at 5:59 pm
I’ve seen variations of this premise/delivery before but always as a punchline to a silly, crass, lazy joke. There is something about your delivery that deeply transforms it into something of pain and loss. I absolutely prefer yours. Truly well done.
August 9, 2016 at 6:32 pm
OH thank you! I really appreciate your feedback. I had to write this one from deep but healed wounds, so it came out a little more pained then I think “joke” anticipates.
August 9, 2016 at 6:34 pm
The best stories, like the best jokes, come from the unexpected. When we can’t see the resolution or the punchline coming at us, we are that much more surprised and elated at its arrival. I like that you caught some off guard.
August 10, 2016 at 12:21 pm
August 11, 2016 at 6:10 pm
oh thank you so much for reading!
August 14, 2016 at 12:13 am
oh wow – this took me a second – painful
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